ADHD women grow up hearing they are messy, emotional, inconsistent, or too much. Shame is not embarrassment. Shame is the belief that who you are is wrong.

Flourish treats shame as systemic, not personal.

Why Shame Forms

It is shaped by masking, misunderstanding, emotional criticism, comparisons to neurotypical peers, labels like lazy or dramatic, cultural expectations, and punishment for emotional intensity.

Shame was taught.

How Shame Shows Up

Over-apologizing, over-explaining, freezing, avoiding tasks, difficulty accepting praise, defensiveness, or shutdown. Shame becomes a lens.

What Most People Misunderstand

Shame is not immaturity or insecurity. It is survival learning.

What Helps

1. Separate identity from behavior

“This task is hard because the expectation does not fit my brain.”

2. Use neutral language

“This task is hard for me.”
“My system is overwhelmed.”
“I need support.”

3. Notice shame as shutdown

Blank mind, wanting to disappear, freezing, apologizing excessively.

These are nervous system responses.

The Flourish Way

Flourish teaches shame reduction through literacy, reframes, and steady identity repair.

Want to explore more?

Flourish has a full workbook available.